It was 73 days from those first, tough initial moments when I made the decision to change my eating habits to the day I left for Blissdom ’13. I knew it was going to be difficult being away from home, being away from my supports, and being away from my juicer and menu planning. I knew it yet I didn’t conceptualize just how powerful “those” foods, those sugars, those drinks would be to NOW eliminate again. Sigh… Yup, I went to Blissdom ’13 and learned so much but now I am treading deep, rough waters to get back to clean eating.
I ate lots and drank a lot of already eliminated foods and drinks while at Blissdom that I thought I no longer desired, wanted, needed. I haven’t had any craving or real desires for sugar or carbohydrates or sweets or alcohol but once IT was on my tongue, the sugar demons, rapidly re-appeared, stronger than ever. Poof! I felt awful, almost immediately, yet I continued to eat and eat. I didn’t go overboard with what I was eating but I did allow myself to venture into places I did not want to go. My stomach hurt. I had a dull headache. I was bloated. I was tired. I knew IT was all related to my food and drink choices. There’s no way around it for me. I know what works, and it includes unprocessed foods, little to no carbohydrates, tiny amounts of sugar, hardly any alcohol, no soda (I didn’t have any at Blissdom), and just an honest assessment of what I am eating and my hunger levels. Sounds easy? Well, it isn’t. I know you know, and I know too.
It’s been 14 days home with Blissdom ’13 one weekend and Easter ’13 on the other weekend. To say, these past two weeks have been an eating-bust is an understatement. I feel awful. Yup, I fully admit it. I have to start again but my refrigerator is still filled with unmentionables and things that need to go still. Sigh…
Restarting means a few things. First of all, I need to recreate my plan. The house needs to be purged of all taste-great-sugary-treats. Easter is over, and so is this binge. I know I can do it. I’ve done it already. I need to keep reminding myself of how awful I feel when these next few days are tough and my energy is low. Juicing, cooking, planning, and exercise are my weapons right now. I cannot let the sugar demons strangle me. I must push them aside with force, with determination, and with persistence.
As I learned at Blissdom ’13, FEAR does not need alter the direction of my journey. It will only motivate me to work smarter, to clearly define my goals, and to help sustain my motivation. I’m flying back to South Beach with my Breville Juicer in-hand and a borrowed Vitamix blender in the other as a way to help guide my journey back to healthy.